As I sit down to bust out this blog post, I'm exhausted, on a hormonal rollercoaster, listening to my husband in the next room try to soothe the new tiny human who has recently entered our lives and wondering how the heck it's been 3 years since I actually blogged despite thinking about it several hundred times. An accumulation of those instances where I think, "maybe I should blog tonight about my recent race, major life change, etc..." then I think about what I would say in my blog, and - just like I reply to text messages in my head then realize a day later I never replied - three years later I'm finally typing something out. So there it is.
Three years ago, I was still working in corporate America in addition to my graphic design freelance work to keep side income coming in to pay down my student loans, sprinting from day to day, trying to fit in some sort of training so I could maintain my podium-finishes in my triathlon racing, and making sure I spent quality time with my then-boyfriend-now-husband, John. Social life? Yep, throw that in there too. That crazy life continued through 2016 and half of 2017...
In June of 2017, after a drastic change in leadership that took the company I worked for from "pretty good" to virtual hell-on-earth, I made a huge decision to leave that job after 8 years and go to work with my husband. It was one of the most frightening but most freeing decisions I've ever made. All eggs, one basket. Our basket. In September of 2017, I represented Team USA in my 2nd World Championship in Olympic Distance Triathlon in the Netherlands - without having to worry about how much PTO I had! But we also learned that when you own your own business and take a long vacation, WiFi is very important, and you still have to work (a little) to keep business running smoothly. It was a well-needed break before the next major life change that was most of 2018: childbearing.
Although my pregnancy was pretty smooth-sailing, I did not like it. No morning sickness (just a random bout of food poisoning around 3 months), no weird food cravings or aversions, no complications. I just did not like being pregnant. It was uncomfortable, annoying, did I mention UNCOMFORTABLE? At 30 weeks, I surprisingly was able to do a sprint-distance triathlon, which was also the last day I decided to run, but I did manage to place 5th Athena out of 17+. Ouch, pelvic bone. After that, physical activity gradually decreased. The last month was stupid. Little man decided to sit on my pelvic bone while I was 2 cm dilated for a whole month. The last week, I would hike 2 miles almost every day to try to get kiddo out. On his birth-day, I was so glad and petrified at the same time... no more pelvic pain, but now he was on the exterior, what the heck?!
I'm now 6+ weeks post-baby birth and still in what we refer to as "survival mode" - trying to sleep as much as we can, when we can (which is not a lot), eating, running our business, keeping up on our rental properties, and learning something new EVERY DAY about this new human in our lives that only knows how to communicate by crying right now. It's been a mental battle every day for me as I combat the fog and misery that is "post-partum". One day I'm planning race goals for this coming year as my "come-back" from pregnancy and childbirth, and the next day I'm wondering if I'll ever stop bleeding so I can get back in the dang pool, or if I'll ever be able to run again without my pelvis falling apart, and will my boobs get back to a size that I can run fast again? And other questions, like, What is a full night of sleep like? When can I get a facial and a massage in one day because I don't have to worry about breastfeeding? When can I get a 3-hour bike ride in after a swim if I can't hardly get in 30 minutes on the trainer right now? How can I edit more than 1/2 of a 2-minute video in one day without being interrupted by a crying baby? Why do people have more than one baby? Oh, it's been a glorious 6+ weeks.
Yet here we are, still alive and relatively well, and we're just taking each day as it comes; that's all we can do.
Looking back on the past few years though, as much as our lives have been completely turned upside down recently and in the spirit of this time of year, we are blessed and we have so much to be thankful for at the end of the day. I am grateful that I have the freedom and flexibility that I do in my life and career, that our tiny human is perfect in every way, and that my husband is loving, supportive, and imperfect like me. He also loves fast women (according to his shirt he likes to wear to my races), so I'll have to work on that...
For now, as this year comes to a close, we will relax together, focus on what matters most, and try not to let the small stuff bother us or to eat too much.
